Lies intermixed with truth. Because fruits, vegetables, natural and organic foods are healthy. But extreme control, fear of fat and an empty plate are stark realities that I face when I'm weak. It's when I'm tired, emotional or feeling pain that I run to the comfort of control. Knowing that so much is out of my control, food becomes the way I cope.
And the lies wash over me like a seducer promising a beautiful night of passion. The words are comforting, but they only lead to pain and destruction.
I am so ashamed of being human. To mess up, make mistakes, have a muffin top and admit that I don't have it all figured out. One day I won't be ashamed. When my body really is perfect, my mind will be too. I'll realize that the entire goal was to have a body that reflected and exalted Him. Not in appearance, but in its person.