Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Sarah Lynn Mercy

What's in a name?

"Shelby" for example means "A place of shelter where the willows grow"
Photo Credit here
I've always wanted to be a place of shelter for people - to live up to the name given me. And while that's not why my parents gave me that name, I believe in the power of a name. We claim names in life all the time...
~ Perfectionist
~ Nurse
~ Boss
~ People-pleaser
~ Teacher
~ mom

We define and name ourselves based upon what we do, and rarely because of who we are. God has to remind me daily of the names He's given me...
~ Daughter
~ Chosen One
~ Forgiven
~ Loved

I like those names, they're names to live up to. And so, with baby girl on the way, Silas and I wanted to give her a name full of meaning and truth.

Sarah - named after her Aunt Sarah who passed away when she was only 15. Silas held his sister in such high esteem. I can see it in his eyes when he talks about her. The way she loved him, the way she showed Jesus to him and to others. I am honored that we can name our baby girl after a young woman who impacted this baby girl's daddy in such a big and wonderful way. 

Lynn - her momma's middle name, and her Grandma Tharp's middle name. It's special to pass on a legacy of a woman that I so respect - my mom. I pray this young lady has my mom's strength, sense of right, and conviction of heart.

Mercy - I wanted to give her a new name, one that would be her own. Honestly, I believe God gave her this name. Immediately after finding out we were pregnant, I was overcome with this word. I heard it in my head over and over again - Mercy, mercy, merciful mercy. God blessed Silas and I with this gift of a child out of His great Mercy. I had cried and begged and prayed for a child and here she was, just given to me. We had tried on our own, and it doesn't just happen when you want it to. God, in His timing, gave her to us. And, after everything that I put this body through - my own mistakes that could have prevented a child, to health concerns that said I might not ever carry a baby, to other past mistakes that could have robbed us of this gift. God's mercy looked at us and said yes, YES, I will bless you with this gift of LIFE!

I hope someday she'll understand fully what that means, and that with God's help she will grow into all that's in her name.

Because beyond the stories and the namesakes, Sarah Lynn Mercy means "Princess of Mercy".

Monday, July 9, 2012

Gaining Weight

Gaining Weight.

Here I am, five months pregnant and excited, ready to put on those pounds for the life that kicks and flips inside of me. But, as much as I hate to admit this, it wasn't easy at first.

I told myself I would not be one of those women who hated her pregnant body. In fact, I've always thought pregnant women are the most beautiful form of a woman. Life growing inside, what could be better?

But then, I started to gain weight, and what's worse I felt nauseous at every turn. So instead of the blissful glow everyone talks about, I felt sick. I didn't want food, and that terrified me. It reminded me too much of the time I had spent starving myself.  And the fear, that nagging fear of being fat, ugly or unwanted pestered me. I lost four pounds in the first trimester. While often normal, it scared me considering my past.

Truth: Your body, your baby needs nourishment.
Truth: It's ok to eat when you're hungry, especially now. Listen to your body and respond with healthy choices.
Lie: You'll never be desirable again.
Lie: You don't really need to eat more, you can just stay the same weight throughout this pregnancy.

Ha, those lies are ridiculous. I can see how the enemy and this world are working to destroy my precious little girl before she is even born. And the nerve, he's using the old lies in MY PAST to accomplish our dual destruction.

But I write this today as a reminder and as a declaration of victory. Enough of that! Bring on the food! I love this new little life, and whatever I need to gain, however that may impact my body, it is all worth it.

For this child, and for me. Life is still worth fighting for, especially now.
Baby girl at 20 weeks, and yes sucking her thumb!
Truth: I have loved you with an everlasting love...I will build you up again. ~Jeremiah 31:3 & 4